Beautiful Afrika

"Calmly the curve of the earth rolls away to where grass meets the sky, Gently the outline of faraway mountains enveloped in clouds, hazy and still in the heat of the day. Deep flowing river swirl, lined with a thousand trees, silently jealously guarding their permanent pools of deep shade."

"Beautiful Africa" African Jigsaw by Peter Rose and Ann Conlon

These lyrics from a musical I was in, in high school, are all I could think of in fact I was humming in between loud sobs on Thursday morning (Dec 4th) as I looked out the window from my seat and I saw Afrika below me. It was amazing. She is a gorgeous woman. It was just after dawn and we must have been over central afrika. It looked like we were flying over a misty sea and every so often the very rugged backs of the mythical green creatures that live in that sea kept peeking out. As we descended lower you begin to realise that these aren't the scaly relatives of Nessie, they are instead the peaks of some lush green mountains.

Man oh man is this place gorgeous...I was sick with a cold (thank you damp and dank england) but for those three hours it took to arrive in Johannesburg I was falling in love with Afrika all over again. I could understand why those explorers (hehehehehe) were drawn to this place......

Cut to the immigration, baggage claim and customs saga:
After walking, I shit you not 25mins, I finally arrived at immigration. I must have been a sight....sweat pouring, whooping cough-sounding cough, and my very wild and lacking moose mane...I meet Mr. Immigration man. I can barely stand and I have lost my voice...
Mr. Imm: Welcome to South Afrika
Me: thanks
Mr. Imm: Mmmm Zimbabwe (looks at my passport)
Me: Yes but I live in the States
Mr.Imm: Where did you get your Visa
Me: Chicago
Mr. Imm: Really? (flips through passport) "3 months multiple entry to visit family" what? what kind of visit is this for 3months?
Me: I am going to be spending time between here and Zimbabwe
Mr. Imm: What for?
Me: I am really sick and I am tired is there a problem?
Mr. Imm: mumbles something is South African..Ok you can go

Then I go and wait for my luggage at baggage claim where I am quickly reminded that personal space is a concept I learned in America. I am jostled about and no one seems to care that I am sick. It is so hot I feel my feet beginning to slip and slide inside my first class slippers....Did I mention that flew first class...no? LOL! That my dears is a story for another day...but suffice it to say that I will NEVER fly coach again....which means that after this trip I shan't be flying.....hehehehehe

So finally the luggage from my flight comes through and I quickly grab my bags and teeter and totter toward the door that bears the sign "Nothing to declare" and as I am about to step over the door the threshold, I hear " Excuse me Sisi, can you come this way please"
@#$*&!! They got me. Customs lady is hott! and she seems to be friendly enough and I think to myself this won't be too bad.....
CL: How are you?
Me: I am fine
CL: what flight?
Me: BA 55
CL: Ohhh you are Zimbabwean? (flipping through my passport)
and so the dance begins
CL: What do you have to declare?
Me: Oh just a few things, I mainly brought presents for family and friends back home but the majority of the items are mine....since I will be here for 3months
CL: Hooooo! (Afrikan for Ohhhh!) Well why don't you just open up and show me, eh?
Me: (to my self...Pigeons!!) Oh ok! The smaller bag is the one with presents
Remember I am sick and have no voice so I am whispering and really starting to fade at one point they brought me a chair....no repreive from the customs gouge, just a chair!

She went through everything I had, the smaller back was jam-packed with Obama T-Shirts, Chicago key-rings and more Tshirts. I bought 5 of every size of Hanes underwear for women. I had bras, arthritis medicine, shoes, multi-vitamins, journals....and she took all of it out and made me write down the price......So then she turned to my larger bag, and that point I brought the drama and I started swaying back and forth, coughing ridiculously and almost fainting. CL was a little freaked out by that she stopped searching my shizz! She just charged me R89.98 (USD $9) for the DUTY FREE single-malt I got from my brother. I intend to contest that charge!!

I can't believe I am home. At the airport I am hit by the heatwave and the smell of Africa. Not caring about who is near or in whose way I stand, I stop and I inhale deeply, filling my lungs with the stench and sweetness all mingled. I am home....I kinda wish I could kiss the ground like Pope John Paul II did that one time when he came to Zim and everyone flipped out. But 1) I am not the Pope 2) I don't have an audience expect for Dennis who would think me an asshole for embarrassing him 3) the ground is kinda icky, so I hug him instead.

Sakubona Afrika!